Great presentation by MHS Guidance staff at the
Junior/Senior Parent Breakfast earlier this month! It led to some personal
observations as our family goes through the process for the third time:
· * Setting realistic expectations early is really
important (which is why discouraging a top pick can be useful although
sometimes challenging). What can the family afford, and if your child gets into
his/her top pick with no aid, is that still a go? Are you comfortable having
the child a plane ride away or are you happier with closer geographic
proximity? Do you have strong opinions on attendance at a very large vs. very
small school? Have the discussion and set the boundaries early so you can focus
on the schools that meet your family’s needs – and resist applying to any
school where your child truly would not go. Helping students find good quality
matches and supporting their understanding that they can be happy and
successful at any school to which they apply is helpful to the wallet and the
psyche.
· * Colleges and universities are businesses that
employ adults. Their number one goal is to stay in business and they do that by
selecting students who will faithfully pay tuition, become engaged enough and
be academically successful enough to stay and graduate, and ultimately bring
honor to the school’s name (and hopefully donate!) post-graduation. Keeping in
mind the college’s interests while thinking about how your child can be
successful may be a useful thought process. Is the tuition (along with any
financial aid) truly affordable without sinking you or your child with debt? Is
the school rigorous enough to challenge your child to think in new ways, but
not so rigorous that he/she would really struggle academically? Does the school
offer high-quality courses in which your child is interested as well as the
kinds of extra-curriculars that will keep him/her engaged? How effective is the
career office and alumni network? Exploring a school’s characteristics (in
books like Princeton Review or Peterson’s, or in web databases like
collegedata.com or Naviance) will give you a sense of who they are and what
they value.
· * Some opinions on acceptances: 1. If your family
funded the <fill in college’s newest big building here>, you’re
in; 2. If you’re an international student who can pay full ride and the school
wants to diversify its student body in that way, you’re a good bet; 3. If you
play the tuba and all the tuba players in the band graduated, your chances just
improved; 4. If your academic record is trending consistently upward, even if
freshman year wasn’t stellar, your chances improve; 5. If 60% of the student
body is girls (not uncommon these days – especially at medium
rigor/small/liberal arts schools), boys may be judged more favorably so the
school can achieve a more even gender mix; 6. If you meet all the school’s
academic standards on paper, but a whole bunch of kids with a very similar
profile applied and were accepted before you, you may be wait listed or
denied. My point? There are many great schools out there where your child can
and will be successful – just because he/she was denied at a school doesn’t
necessarily mean he/she couldn't have been accepted or wouldn’t do well there –
it just means that while there are many things in a student’s control, there
are many others that aren’t.
While the college search is time-consuming and a little
anxiety provoking, it’s a wonderful way to spend quality time getting to know
your teenager better (even though he/she may sleep for awhile on those car
trips!). Each and every child is unique and special, and helping them tease out
their authenticity in preparation for their next big adventure is incredibly
exciting. Best of luck to all!
