Many parents came out this
past snowy Monday night to learn more about helping their children and their
children’s friends sort out and address responses to stress. The MHS and MVMMS
PTO’s joint session focused on “Helping Teens Manage Stress and Painful
Emotions” in an engaging and compassionate presentation prepared and presented
by two of our own high school parents who are also psychologists, Lynda Field,
PhD and Lisa Coyne, PhD. Also attending were Supt. Taymore, MHS Principal
Farrell and Asst. Principal Fogarty, MVMMS Principal Conway, and Asst. Supt.
White-Lambright.
Some quick facts:
·
Teens report
symptoms of stress at about the same levels as adults in like categories (like
“being irritable or angry” and “feeling nervous and anxious”) BUT they’re more
likely to report that stress has no effect on their physical or mental health
·
35% of teens
lie awake at night while 26% overeat or eat unhealthy foods, and 23% skipped a
meal
·
Girls report
stress more than boys (but it’s unknown whether they experience more stress or
report more, since we socialize boys and girls in different ways)
·
Compared with
adults, teens underreport stress, set aside less time to manage it, and when
they do address it they generally do so by engaging in sedentary activities
(leading to poorer physical health)
·
Of teens in
Gr. 9-12 in the last 12 months: 17% considered suicide (22% of females and 12%
of males), 13.6% made a plan (17% of females and 10% of males), and 8%
attempted suicide one or more times (11% of females and 5% of males)
·
Warning signs
= FACTS (feelings, actions, changes, threats, situations)
What is a loved one to do? Listen and voice concern. Indicate that you can
get help. Seek that help. Let the teen know you care. (70% of all people who
commit suicide give some warning of their intentions; 80% never attended
counseling.)
What will help your teens cope?
·
Authentic
connection with others (not social media since it is not authentic)
·
Validation (we
need to truly listen to our children, make eye contact, and really hear them
when they talk with us)
·
Purpose and
value: connect them to options that help them find these things
·
Plans for the
future
·
A safe
environment
·
Stay away from
caffeine since it’s an anxiety producer – substitute water instead
·
Assertiveness
training since having a “voice” helps teens maintain control over situations
·
Take breaks
from stressful situations
·
Employ sleep
routines: get up at the same time every day, go to sleep at the same time every
night
·
Practice
mindfulness (great resources are available below)
Q&A
What is the high school
and middle school doing to address this issue? These topics are included in the health and
wellness curriculum at MHS and there are discussions around yoga and
mindfulness strategies in this year’s freshman seminar. They hope to share more
techniques with staff next year so they can help students employ these
strategies before a big test or assignment. The middle school also includes the
topics in the health and wellness curriculum. Principal Conway also mentioned
that there is a task force of twelve staff members who have met since December
to talk about social emotional learning, and they hope to represent some of the
results in this coming year’s School Improvement Plans.
What happens when
students leave for life after high school? Have a conversation with the teen before he/she leaves regarding expectations
around communication (What will the boundaries be? How often will you
communicate, and what method will you use?). Find out about their dorm’s
culture if at college, and also what services the health department provides.
Some districts have
classes to provide coping mechanisms – does Melrose? The Middle School offers a fitness/yoga class.
That’s not currently an offering at MHS, but they could potentially do clubs.
Principal Farrell said that maybe there are simple (low cost) things they can
do to help.
Explain crisis teams. Each Melrose school building has a crisis team
(including an administrator, nurse, school psychologist, and staff members).
There is also a district crisis team that learns about best practices and
develops protocols for the schools. A group called “Educators Supporting
Educators in Crisis” works together to support each other under circumstances
such as the recent death of a local teacher, where some Melrose teachers and
teachers from other districts provided substitute coverage so that staff
members from the affected school could attend the late educator’s funeral.
What if families can’t
afford mental health services for their children? The school works to help find support services for
low or no cost. When critical, the school will excuse a student from class in
order for him/her to receive services in the school from an outside agency.
Are there other ways
that schools can help reduce unhealthy adolescent behaviors? Yes – one example at the middle school is offering
“no homework weekends” about once per month. At the high school there is a
grant-originated course called Mentoring Violence Prevention (MVP) in which
students learn to empower bystanders to intervene and diffuse abusive
situations.
The full presentation,
along with resources, can be found here: http://melrosehigh.melroseschools.com/2016/04/caring-community-presentation/#sthash.Dq8Hz7KK.dpbs.
